Wednesday, May 5, 2010


Most people get confused of me when they come to know I am a girlfriend of infantry officer Capt.Nishant ,the reaction is quite hilarious to look at not just I get to see there shocked faces but also a scared look which says that they are not allowed to cross a line with his girl. while walking down the over bridge in Delhi ,it was 7 in the ning and we were walking down with my hands in his ,when a car crossed us and one of the guy sitting in a car hooted from behind which made me shudder and frightened ,after that I was looking at a guy who was running after a car with such amazing easiness that I was certain for a minute that life of those men were just in danger ,but somehow the another car came from front and he had to stop ,I was relieved because I was definite that I would not be able to control nishant .So I ran too to hold him and ease him that I was all right and that I am not scared anymore ,as I approached him he turned around only to make me more uncomfortable ,I remember we stood for more than 10 minutes looking at each other ,his eyes were blood shed ,his hand was clenched fist ,though he was sweating heavily but didn’t look as if he was tired .I could see into his eyes and they were watery .

He was not crying that I could see but the emotion that was disturbing him was that he had first time ran for his girlfriend and I think he was somehow more sure that he loved me fiercely, strong enough to first beat those men and then get beaten. And this fact was more scary to me cause I will never be able to clap when he breaks his nose even if he tried ,if somebody beats him I will break there legs and jump on them till there pancreas come out ,and suddenly I realized I was looking more stupid as I was being watched by 20 people there and every one was scared who was looking at me as my hairs were at one side, I looked like Hindi films witch who looks less scary and more funny, I was heaving ,my hands were on my hips and it looked as if I was struggling with words, all because my fatness couldn’t match his zero figure and his casual strides .But I never stopped looking at him because I realized that I was in love with a guy who never have spoken emotions ,I was certain he was not short tempered but he was strong and dangerous. All fauji women live in flashbacks ,so I was thinking how many times have I seen him like this ?,and why am I scared of him ?…maybe I am not that feminist at all ….he was my gangster with whom I knew I can never win a fight.

Our love is different kind of love and it’s filled with emotions and intenseness .Every time when I have met him on airports or after long time on stations …I realized I never have hugged him or came running towards him. Every time he come towards me,my heartbeats runs at 120, I get temperature and I get shy .Sometimes I don’t even have guts to look into his eyes, I just smile .With him I feel lost as I belong to some far back century where he was a fierce fighter and I was his woman who did what he said, a guy who loves me like hell who even can kill me in a fear of me going away .A guy who talks while he is sleeping ,who walks 3 hours on a snow just to give me a call ,a guy who calls me 25 times if I didn’t pickup on first call, who pulls me with my hand so brutally when I am angry that I have even got blisters sometime .a guy who has took out his handkerchief just to wipe my sweaty hands and face .I was once questioned by people would I prefer nishant as my enemy and I said no ,it will be my plight ,I was even asked how was I able to handle his madness ,and I answered his madness is what I love ,that is what is so unique about him ,he is one of few men who can give speech without even knowing about the topic ,and can even put brilliants ones in shame .the most hardest question was “will you be able to live with this psycho”, which meant ,would I be able to handle his passions of getting too serious about things and his troubled nature ..And I could only say ‘I will love him passionately, fiercely that I am sure about but I will not be able to save him from getting burn, I can only heal him, I will certainly be there when he is lost.

While we stood looking at each other, one with love and another one with fear(who was me obviously) we covered few more steps towards each other ,and suddenly both of us started laughing like mad ,holding each other hands ,somehow it was too extraordinarily funny that we both sat on a side footpath, all people on the road were looking at us as if we were of some other planet and then he took bislery bottle and tried pouring whole bottle on me ,so how can I leave him and then with immense force I snatched it from his hands ,only to finish what he started a little while .So my answer to his being mad was that I will be always be there with him to put an end to whatever he starts, even if that means that I have to force my way to take all his troubles on me or even snatch his troubles from him ..............PHEW